The January 2008 issue of Today's Chicago Woman (TCW) features an article by Gail called "Network Shopping... Network the Way You Shop for Greater Success". It describes a way to transfer skills from one thing you know how to do well, like shop for a book, to a new mindset to make networking easier.
Click to download Gail's bio on the TCW Jan_2008_Contrib_Page
Click to download the article (or read below) Jan_2008_Page_44
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Are you uncomfortable with networking? Do you avoid going to networking events even though you’ve heard a gazillion times how it is the best way to get a job, promote your business, find new opportunities, make friends, and get help to meet your goals? Well, you're not alone. The more hype there is about the power of networking, the more people think there are tricks you must know to do it well.
Some worry about how to start conversations, what to say, if they are interesting enough. Many believe they have to be an extrovert to succeed, must make a lot of small talk, impose on others with a forced sales pitch and collect at least 10 business cards before they can make a break for the door!
The good news is we are uniquely gifted at creating and sustaining relationships. Heck, look at the easy way we start conversations in the restroom at a wedding or on the bus or while standing in line at Starbucks.
First, let’s redefine networking. What if I told you that you don’t need a personality transplant or to take extrovert pills? The answer is all in your head. To help you shift your thinking, try on my definition of networking. “Networking is simply connecting with like-minded people for the greater good in service of common objectives.”
Are you someone who loves to shop? There are so many decisions and thought processes we use while shopping that we don’t even realize the skills we have. We all have our own style and preferred methods. We are going to reframe the way you think about networking by helping you transfer to networking your decision-making skills, attitude and success as a shopper.
Let’s look at networking the way you would shop for a book. You start with a desire for a new book! It’s important to observe your motivation to get clear about the type of experience you want. Do you want to learn a new skill, escape in a trashy romance novel, or go deeper on a subject you love? It helps to do some advance thinking, a little research, and have a general goal or outcome in mind. Let’s say you choose to buy a mystery novel with twists and turns to keep you guessing.
It’s time to go shopping. Let's say you choose to buy a mystery novel with twists and turns to keep you guessing. You go to your favorite bookstore armed with your desired outcome and an awareness of mystery writers and books that have entertained you in the past. Thankfully, book stores help you shop by organizing their bookshelves in categories. You head for the mystery section and start browsing. You cock your head to the side and start reviewing titles and authors and notice the color, size, shape and thickness of the books you see. Every so often you pull a book out, skim the synopsis and reviews on the book jacket to learn more. If that cursory level of exploration captures your interest, you may open the book and review the table of contents and even leaf through a chapter.
As you scan the pages, you are unconsciously asking yourself, "Do I like this author's writing style, language, and pacing?" "Is there enough suspense and intrigue in this story to keep my attention?" "Is the main character someone I want to get to know and care about?"
All the while, the “Happy Meter” in your gut, your intuition, is giving you signals that encourage you to either decide to buy this book or to keep browsing. Ultimately, you will choose a book that holds promise of the type of reading pleasure and experience you seek.
Here's the big reframe you've been waiting for. Let's apply your shopping process to networking. See how you can reframe your existing attitudes and mindset about networking by considering that meeting people can be as easy and fun as shopping for a book!
You could literally reread the paragraphs above, and apply the decision-making and approach to shopping for people connections, relationships and “living” knowledge. Let's review: First you need to know fore what you're looking. What do you want to accomplish and/or experience that could benefit from the help of others? You might need a job, want to grow your business, find new friends or a mentor, or have stimulating conversations to generate new ideas for your life.
After defining what you are interested in, you can then choose the best, most enjoyable approach for shopping and match it with your style for connecting with people. Do you want to meet people in large, medium or small groups, or one-on-one over coffee?
Imagine attending a networking event to "shop" for connections that fit your needs the same way you went book shopping. Knowing your search “category” helps determine what networking events to attend. Let's say you are actively looking for a new job and have chosen to attend a business-oriented networking event with about 50 people in attendance.
As you survey the room, I want you to see the people in attendance as if they're books. The truth is we all do judge others on first glance based on appearances. It’s an instinctive protective measure. Just notice and then suspend your judgments, let them go and choose to be curious and open-minded. Skim the "books" in the room and approach someone you want to explore.
As you introduce yourself, you'll get to hear the titles and plots of all these life stories! You can follow your interest to preview the table of contents of the people you meet to find out just enough to know what you have in common, if you relate to the theme of their story, and if their messages intrigue you enough to learn more. Do they work in the field you're interested in? Can they offer any advice or introductions on your behalf?
Follow your instincts and listen to your Happy Meter to “read” more of the stories of people you connect well with. Share your story, find out what you might do for others and how their experiences can help you. If your interest is high, ask for a business card and initiate a further conversation. That’s when you know your shopping trip was a success.
It’s up to you. Take your book shopping habits and process along the next time you're networking. Be clear about what you want and like. Browse potential connections with an open mind. Bring your shopping list of goals and outcomes with you and give people’s stories a chance to unfold to see if you have a good fit. The world is waiting to meet you, connect with you and help you. The good news is you are the author of your story, your book. Choose your people connections in the free, easy, natural way you choose a good book and create all the adventure, mystery, success, romance, and love you desire so your story ends the way you want.
Visit www.howtolovenetworking.com to get your copy of her networking tips and to sign up for a free teleclass on how to love networking.
Comments